10. Poo on furniture. Poo on clothes. Poo on the floor. Poo on you.

9.You two used to have so much in your life: work, hobbies, books, going out, parties, restaurants, friends and lots more. Now you’re slave to a midget. Sound like a good deal?

8. Baby crying is like watching c-span: it’s supposed to mean something important, but you just can’t stand it.

7. The end of entertainment: No TV. No movies. No restaurants. Just making sure baby doesn’t cry.

6. Scouring heaven and earth to find effective ways of making sure baby doesn’t cry (c.f. 7)

5. Rocking the baby to sleep (c.f. 6&7). Back aches. ’nuff said.

4. Baby trollies are only slightly less complicated, these days, than the large hadron collider.

3. Bunker mode – no visitors till we get some normalcy (c.f. 1).

2. Got milk? Not got milk? Once an American ad slogan, now a highly crucial issue!

1. N-O  S-L-E-E-P

Any additions?