Following are 10 off-hand tips: please add any more you have in comments.

10.  You spend the first 24 hours worried about whether the baby is ok when she’s sleeping. You spend months afterwards worrying that she’s going to wake up.

9. The phrase “quiet, you’ll wake the baby” is, as much as you don’t want to be using or hearing it, one that you’re going to use and hear a lot.

8. Sleep. Eat. Poop. Cry. Eat. Cry. Sleep. Poop. Cry. Sleep. Eat. Poop. That is the schedule for your baby’s life in the first few months, and by proxy yours as well. If the sleeping durations aren’t long, well, buddy, you’re royally screwed.

7. Breastfeeding is far from being a simple thing. Very important, complicated and can cause total anguish till the mother and baby get it.

6. Grandparents call. A lot. That’s what they do.

5. The system shock and lifestyle change after birth is huge: support your wife or you’ll both have a horrible time.

4. Quiet moments, taken for granted before, are suddenly immensely prized assets.

3. If you’ve not had it for a while, you’re going to have to get used to frozen food. If that’s all you’ve been eating beforehand, well, you’re a slob but will suffer less.

2. Babies may look dumb, but they require a huge repertoire of movements, songs, shakes, positions and sounds to calm them down. Like some hoighty-toighty connoisseur, if you don’t get it exactly right – forget it, you’ll be screamed at.

1. Sleep is a luxury. Forget all luxuries.